How to deal with your emotions as a carer

After hearing the news of the patient’s diagnosis, you are likely to be filled with care and compassion for that person, but try not to be a hero. 

You need to face into the reality, that you have to bear the brunt of their anger and grief, as well as dealing with the problems that may have arisen as a result of the illness. These problems are often issues that you will have no appetite to deal with at the time, such as questions surrounding future finances, essential changes in the home, car driving etc etc. 

It’s essential because of these issues and challenges being topped off with anger of your own, that you find out how to care for yourself. 

Everyone responds to challenges in different ways. The way we deal with traumatic events will depend on the person. It is important to understand that we are all different, there is no right and wrong to the emotions you may feel. 

Here is a list of some of the negative aspects to caring, coupled with ideas and suggestions as to how to manage them. This is important, if you are a carer, you must take time to look after your mental and physical wellbeing. If you do not, it will have a big impact on the quality of care you give to the patient. 

Emotions that you may experience are covered in more detail in this article here and contain links as to the type of support that may be available for you. In summary these emotions may include:
 

• Denial

• Anger

• Grief

• Negative thoughts

• Isolation

• Anxiety

Resilience

Keep functioning. Remember that humans can very resilient and can recover from setbacks. It’s not easy, you need to take care of yourself and not be afraid to ask for help, and let others take care of you. Your resilience may get knocked at times, but you can recover. There’s an old Japanese proverb - ‘Fall down seven times, get up eight”.

Journalling

Why don’t you try journaling as a way of dealing with the emotions and the way in which you are feeling. By putting pen to paper, it can help you identify how you feel about what is happening and help you to process what is happening. Addressing these emotions may help you to process and with the way you feel.

Summary 

This blog is not written to highlight the emotions that you will have, rather the emotions that you ‘may’ feel. The crux of it, is to make sure that if you are affected, then please seek help to get the care and support you need, so you can care for the person with dementia. This help can be professional in the form of a GP, or other types of doctor, it could be practical in the form of council/community assistance, or it can be practical and emotional support from friends or family. 

Look after yourself.