Selfcare as a carer

It is not easy from day one, as the above comments show, it will likely get harder as time goes on, that is completely understandable. You may feel a varied mix of raw emotions as time passes, anger, denial, grief, negative thoughts, anxiety and isolation. 

Some carers become impacted by depression, exhaustion, sleeplessness, irritability and various other health problems, so it is essential that you seek out care and support for yourself. ( We will talk about dealing with emotions for Carers, post diagnosis in a later blog).

If you are not the Carer, then make sure that the person who is, is getting help and support. 

The carer needs a support structure of their own where they can get advice, practical and emotional help.

Focus on you

It is important to remember your own needs. Often we get too lost in the role as the carer that we forget how important it is to look after ourselves. You spend so much time being strong and supportive for the person that needs it, but don’t realise the impact that this can have on you. 

Try not to focus on the problems too much. It can be regarded as ‘cliched’ but don’t get too down about the little things, try and live in the moment, try not to worry about what is around the corner, take each day, each morning, afternoon, evening, as it comes if you need to. 

Don’t undervalue yourself and the work that you do caring for that person. Take consolation from the positive things in your life. This can be anything that is close to your heart, your religion, your faith, friends, other family members. Surround yourself with people or things that help you to stay positive. 

Exercise 

It is important that you continue to follow your own exercise routine as well as encouraging the dementia patient to take on exercise also. One type of exercise that is good for tackling anxiety and stress is yoga. It helps you to remain in the present moment and as a gentle exercise, does not put too much pressure on your joints. It is also an enjoyable exercise that you may like to try with the person that you are caring for. Regular walks are also a very good exercise to undertake as well as maintaining cardiovascular exercise to support your mental and physical fitness. 

Diet

You must maintain a focus on the food that you are eating as well as worrying about the dementia patient. Make sure that you are eating regularly and balanced meals. This will be easier to achieve if you are also preparing meals for the dementia patient. Although if they are struggling with food and having a difficult time eating, you may spend more time worrying and supporting them at meal times, than looking after yourself. 

Journalling

This is a good way of dealing with and processing the emotions that you are feeling. It is a way to address things that are happening and putting pen to paper works to help some people work through their emotions. 

Take time out

It is very important to make sure that you are taking time out and getting your breaks. No one can be a superhero here and try to do everything, without support means that you are likely to face your own burn out. Whether that is physically, mentally or both. There is no shame in asking for help, you may find that there are more people than you realised that want to get involved. Give yourself the time you need to take a break and others the opportunity to get involved also. 

Be honest

Whatever you do, make sure that your own selfcare remains high on the agenda, as well as the needs of the dementia patient. If things are becoming too much for you or are too great a challenge, then it might be time to take on some more permanent help, or look at other cared for options. This can be an emotionally difficult decision to make, but it is one that you must face honestly and ask yourself some serious questions. Are you the best person to provide the care for your loved one now? Consider your own health needs and their medical requirements and most of all what is best for the dementia patient to receive the best care and support for them. Talk to family members and friends to garner opinion. Dementia patients can live a fulfilling life, but there can be challenges throughout the disease and progression varies between patients. Sadly, at some point, you will no longer be the best person to provide that care for them but ensuring that you do activities together and keep making memories will ensure that you enjoy whatever time that you do get to spend with each other. By looking after you, you will be able to deliver that care for them for as long as is practical and that serves them well.