Accepting the need to ask for help in dementia care
As a person experiences the first signs of dementia, they might struggle accepting they need help. Even making that first doctor’s appointment to establish their diagnosis could provoke feelings of denial, anxiety and isolation. It’s important you’re able to offer help to the person with dementia, so they can accept their situation, instead of becoming withdrawn or putting themselves in danger.
Identifying a problem
In the early stages of cognitive decline, people are able to recognise memory loss, confusion and other symptoms associated with dementia. They may feel there’s a stigma surrounding dementia, making them uneasy and anxious, as they refuse to accept reality. Accepting help with dementia can be a long process, so it’s important you approach the topic from a place of love and concern. Start the conversation gently, let them know you’re worried and prepare to be met with denial. Talk through any fears they may experience and put yourself in their shoes – how would you feel if this was happening to you? Keeping a diary of events will not only assist as proof there may be a problem, but also help when you visit a GP together. Avoid diagnosing your loved one, instead focus on some smaller issues, for example, gently bring up they’ve been struggling to remember family member’s names and suggest that a doctor may be able to help. You can also recommend that seeking help and visiting a GP may help friends and family, however, avoid wording it in such a way to make your loved one feel like a burden.
Overcoming denial
Denial can sometimes be beneficial as it gives the person time to process their diagnosis, so allow them to deal with the news. It can take a while to get dementia patient accepting help, so in the meantime, let them know you’re there to support them and they’re still the same person to you. You don’t need to turn their life upside down immediately. Instead, try taking them to some arts therapy classes or support groups. Attending these together may help them come to terms with the disease. Remember to stay calm and patient, and be prepared to take things at their own pace.
Accepting help with dementia
Introducing your loved one to different types of help in dementia care may not always go as smoothly as expected. For most of us, remaining independent in dementia care is key to retaining dignity, purpose and confidence. As your love one’s disease progresses, however, certain tasks will become more difficult to handle. Instead of enforcing the idea that they are unable to take care of themselves, try suggesting it’d be easier if someone helped them with chores, driving, shopping etc. Introducing a care worker into their home can be tricky, as most of us struggle to accept the need for assistance and having a stranger in the house. Introduce the care worker as a friend – arrange for your loved one to get coffee together or simply meet up for a chat with potential care worker. Be mindful that it’ll take time to establish if they’re a good match. Don’t be afraid to get them involved with decision making, as this will retain control of their care and choices. If care home is your best option, have them visit the facility first, maybe even a few times so they get used to the idea. Crucially, don’t forget to ask for help if you’re a carer, as this will make your experience much more rewarding and avoid fatigue, burnout and added stress.
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